there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she looked like the before picture.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
