Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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