There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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