Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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