so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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