i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
