How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
