i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
