Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
