somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
should my penis look like a turkey
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
