you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
