i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
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I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
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when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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