It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
