I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
