so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
