I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
pray to the hookup gods
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
