im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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