i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
my liver is dry heaving
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
its liver damage thursday
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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