Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize