i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
