He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
