I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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