I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
