You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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