Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
