Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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