I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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