i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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