Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I love you. Go after that dick
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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