I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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