so explain again why im purple
no
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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