The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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