Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
pop tarts are not kleenex
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
