If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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