a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
