May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
