haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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