I just threw up on my dentist
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
