I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You may now shotgun with the bride
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
my poor anus
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
