I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
