If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
