We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
