remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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