The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
