Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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