I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
