so that wasnt chicken after all
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
