11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
