You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
