I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
