There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
