Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
"it" just moved
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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