I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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