i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
