i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
