oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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