Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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