I got chris browned last night
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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