He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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