So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
