I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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