Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
