Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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