it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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