apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
