I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
